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tatiana
There's nothing quite like being young...when you can do anything becuz it hasent yet occured to you that you can't. It's all fast. It's all rocking <3
It can be thrilling and it can be scary, but it will never be the same.
<3 <3 don't
judge
me...
no
judgment
on
this
block <3 <3
Tatiana..a.K.a...TOT, sixteen, living in five6one, wearing lipgloss
I love my friends,family and dogs sports, laughing, being crazy,
llamas, and music
.
You
suck
at
life. ♥
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| crap bag |
[31 Dec 2004|03:28pm] |
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six pack summer |
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KYLE IS GROUNDED TONIGHT AND FOR A WHILE AND TRINA AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AND IM NOT HAPPY!!
:-( i wont get to kiss my boyfriend at midnight....
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| 3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
[31 Dec 2004|12:43pm] |
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oh new year!! this is the 1st year i will have someone to share it with!! problem is, we have nothing to do!! but oh well, we'll figure something out. anyways, my gosh, i haven't had time to go online and update. im sorry!! i hope everyone has a safe new year....don;t drive alot tonight....i'll update more when i can. lots of love!!
me and kyle...... <3 |
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| HO HO HOO-mo |
[20 Dec 2004|08:26am] |
went to the sawgrass mall yesterday...it was me, my mom, my bro, his friend juan, my cousin pablo, and trina. we got there at 11:30 am. we left there at 6:30 pm. u do the math. we walked FOREVER! never stopped, only for lunch. i got alot done tho. bought kyles presents...yay im excited to give it to him. i hate not having money during the holidays. i want to buy alot of presents for my friends, but i dont have alot of money.
cant wait till xmas!!
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[16 Dec 2004|04:48pm] |
god its been a while since ive updated. havent had time really.
well, monday dec 13th was my 17th birthday. turns out it was a damn awful day for everyone. my birthday was fine, but a girl from my school, her mom died. she got hit by a drunk driver. a drunk driver. god, thats the worst thing to happen. i hate drunk drivers. I HATE THEM. and i cant imagine being in krystels position. shes so strong, and i never met her parents, but god i feel so badly about this. because i kno 1st hand what its like to have lived with a drunk in the family. and he would drive. and i never thought anything of it. but god, no one ever said anything. thats the worst part. when you let things happen.
dont drink and drive.
fuck.
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[05 Dec 2004|12:00am] |
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| does the drama really ever end?? |
[04 Dec 2004|12:50pm] |
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45 |
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justin and i are friends. thats it. if u dont believe, i get why. no one believes that this is the end of it. i broke up with kyle b/c i had feelings for justin still. then justin and i went out, and when we kissed, it wasent there anymore. the spark, the thing that holds u together. i suppose it was for him, but not for me. plus the fights with the family and friends was not going to work for me. so now we're friends. and so are klye and i. now i just have to earn back his trust....and respect...and forgivness. sheesh. this might take a while.
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| dum dum dummmmmmmmmm |
[28 Nov 2004|09:44pm] |
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help pour out the rain |
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Muahahahahahahahahahahahaaaahohohohoooo
1. This is Gracie, the boss of the Neumann house. She loves Michelle, and hates me.
2. She likes to roll around on her
back and watch tv and look at people upside down. She's fat, and likes
to meow for food at 2 am.
3. "Meow"
4. Michelle and Gracie are best
friends. Gracie sleeps with her at night in her bed. Gracie may not
look happy there, but she never does...she really is though.....happy.
5. Gracie was peacfully sitting on
Michelles bed when i entered the room. She heard me, so she started to
get up. As you can see, she put on her "Don't come near me or i'll bite
you fingers off" look.
6. I had a goal. i wanted her to love me bofore i left. so i quietly approached her and started petting her lightly.
7. Then before she could get away, i picked her fat ass up. it took some of my strength, but since im strong, it was ok.
8. I had finally done it! I sang to
her, and gave her hugs, and was going to kiss her, but she was meowing
like crazy and i was afraid she'd bite my lips off. but i was so happy.
i wanted to go woo!
9. But then she got away. she jumped out of my arms and hid behind the laundry basket.
10. Gracie sent me evil "I hate you
with a passion" looks. i dont think we'll be bonding anytime soon.
atleast we got to bond for a moment. she loves me. deep deep down.....i
swear
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| tea is nastay |
[26 Nov 2004|12:33pm] |
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stays in mexico |
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my voice is completly gone...sorta. i can whisper. what is wrong with me?!?!
tonight we're going to this fancy resturant for my grandpas 80th
birthday...then lukas my cousin and my brother and aunt are going to
his hockey tournament like an hour away...michelle and i are staying
here with the rest of the family...theres 12 relatives here. i love it
here in north dakota with them....
( Read more... )
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[24 Nov 2004|02:23pm] |
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geezus, girls are whinny bitches who cry alot.
ahh, but we're oh-so-pretty.
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| poo |
[24 Nov 2004|12:46pm] |
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i am grumpy. and sick. i have no voice. i sound like a man. a hoarse man. and im doing some brainless project for mr scott that is stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
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| hate is a VERY STRONG WORD!! |
[22 Nov 2004|09:34pm] |
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michelle (my cousin) and i were talking about when i started this whole "strongly dislike" thing...and i cant quite remember when....but i love how its kinda rubbed off on all my friends....it makes me smile that people remember what i say.
it also makes me happy when ppl like kyle tell me that they stopped littering b/c they thought of me. hahah. yes, i heard from kyle today. after my 2 emails and 3 texts, he emailed me back, saying he wasent mad and he hoped i was having a good time.
its hard to look at your feelings when your many miles away from home and the people u need to figure out ur feelings about arent infront of u.
is this worth all the trouble? i guess everyone is bound to find out...me and justin are back together...i just thought u guys should know. and now im having second thoughts....? nobody supporst this. not even my mom. not even my family here. everyday i get lectured...and its getting to me. at first, i was like, ok, i can handle this. i dont care what people say. but now im like, ok, im tired of this. and its only been like 3 or 4 days. and i dont want kyle to find out. im afraid that if he does, its over between us. our friendship that is. im only posting this b/c i want u guys to kno that im kinda going thru a ruff ride with this. is it bad when u dont want ppl finding out ur dating someone??
like i said, it'd be easier to figure this stuff out if i were back home. but im not letting it ruin my mini vacay.
feel free to give me ur opinion on me and justin. ive heard everything, and im pretty sure i kno what u guys are going to say....
ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS...my hand have not been sweaty AT ALL while ive been here!! WOOOOHOOo!!
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| holler |
[20 Nov 2004|10:03pm] |
well im safely in north dakota. my saturday night consisted of reading magazines, talking on the phone, and playing sims 2. not much to do here in north dakota, but i like it anyways.
did i mention that its in the low 30's and theres no snow?? booo
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| cant forget, cant give in, what went wrong |
[17 Nov 2004|08:45pm] |
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always--blink 182 |
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why am i such a damn nut case? i broke up with kyle. it wasent working. want to know why? cuz im a damn nutcase who doesnt know anything. we went too fast. we should of waiting. i went right from justin to kyle. so quick. in a day. lord. and i hurt kyle i think...i cried. i care about him alot. but the way to go is good friends first, then to go out. we didnt do that. we should of!!!!! DAMN IT. and it would of been great too. but there was a part of me that was like hesitant. i need a help. medical attention.
its too bad im so crazy. maybe i'd have more friends if i wasent.
i want to talk to kyle... :-( i dont want him to hate me....i hate hate hate hate it when ppl hate me. shit.
im leaving friday to north dakota again. for 10 days. for my grandpa and my dads birthday and thanksgiving. i love it there. pray for a safe trip for us please!!! bon voyage!
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[09 Nov 2004|10:58pm] |
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ok, heres how i got over justin, my ex, and am now going out with kyle.
this past weekend, i wanted to hang out with justin on friday b4 i left to my dads. so i called him twice and left him messages saying i wanted him to come with us to the wellington football game. he never called back. i was like whatever. i went, had fun, saw alot of ppl i hadent seen in a while...and then i saw kyle, and old friend i met last year at my friend chads party. well, we got eachothers numbers, and i didnt really think anything of it. so then saturday rolls on, and no call from justin, who pinky swore he'd call. saturday night kyle called me to hang out. i told him i couldnt b/c i was in pompano at my dads, but i got his s.n and we talked online. then he called me again and we stayed on the phone until 5:30 in the morning. it was the best conversation id ever had! i loved it. so then sunday night he came over with trina. and it was fun. we all hung out. and then i called him that night and tld him that iw as attracted to him. and we talked, alot. and i decided that kyle made me happier. there was no drama, and he was so sweet and funny. and so basically im happier with kyle and all the feelings i had wit justin kinda just went away. its funny how i wasent even looking for it, and then it just happend. it funny how timming works.
im so happy with kyle guys.
and hes so hott
and sweet
and funny
and he makes me laugh
and YES YES no drama!!!!
ahhhhh its so great!!!!
yes yes yes.
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[08 Nov 2004|10:05pm] |
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i am now going out with kyle.......
YESSSSSSSSSSSS im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!
<3
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| my friend chad giggles like an evil clown |
[04 Nov 2004|09:40pm] |
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its gonna be love- mandy moore |
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i have been happy for the past 2 weeks. its a nice to be like that for no reason.
i made varsity for basketball at school, go tati go!
oh man i want justin bad. and i'll do anything to go back out with him. we're so close......sooo CLOSE. i love that kid, i think more than before. and im going crazyyyyyy...
but im so happy right now!
chad just stopped by with john, lucas and gordon....havent seen them for a while. chad got his licence!! wooo! and they came and stole alot of my halloween candy...asses. but it was a nice visit.
OH I AM SO HYPER AND HAPPY, I WANT TO DANCE!!! tomorrow is friday!!! but i have practice from 6 to 7:30. blaaaaaah.
but its ok!! BECAUSE NO ONE CAN RUIN MY MOOD!!
OMG WHO WATCHED THE OC??! oh lordy i love that show.
im going to rock out to some music and dance by myself.
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| "ok, but can i just say one thing? look how pretty!" rachel from friends |
[31 Oct 2004|10:57am] |
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brother speaking |
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i spent friday and saturday with justin. we're not goign out yet. hes not ready. im not questioning it...im waiting. thats all i can do. and im ok with that. i'll wait, b/c i want to be with him. i love him, alot. ya please dont judge me. and i kno ppl dont want me to get hurt, but honestly ppl can say what they want now b/c i dont care. i love my friends and i love him. there should be no drama.
today is halloween. last night, instead of going to the movies with trina and britt (i didnt have any money and my mom was blahish) i watched friends. season 7. i had like a marathon. and sitting at home on a saturday night is ok with me. i love friends.
tonight i am not sure what im doing...but i am going to be dressed as a skater. sexy, no? and i will trick-or-treat. no matter what. i will do it by myself if i have to.
wow i woke up at 7:30 and it feels like 5 but its only 11. its nice waking up early.
have fun tonight!!
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| clam chowder is yummy |
[25 Oct 2004|03:52pm] |
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SHE SAID YES |
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had a really great day. i was in a great mood. and i saw something after school that bothered me, but im not letting it get to me.
why??
BECAUSE I AM CAREFREE FROM NOW ON!!!
and he can call me. GRRRRRR
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| sweaty palms + helping some one up by grabbing their hands = embarrassment |
[19 Oct 2004|07:06pm] |
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its gonna be love- mandy moore |
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homecoming week is here....its always fun!!
nadine, jaque, trina, britt and i bought jacoby today for senior...uhh i dont kno how to spell it. but he cost us 140$$. it was mostly nadinde, jaque and trina. some sophomore girl was trying to outbid us and she was so pissed when we won. she was crazy as hell.
this friday is the homecoming game. ithink i migh tbe going cuz i have no money for the brooks and dunn concert....poo. i am going with justin to homecoming. alot of my friends are not happy with my decision...and i get why...it just sucks to hear it all the time. and i get it from my mom. but i kno they do it cuz they care..and im so happy that i have friends who care. but i think it'll be different this time..and if not, then i kno what to do. im not taking any shit this time. and if i get hurt, i just need to kno that i'll have some shoulders to cry on, despite what they thought b4, even if they were right or wrong....
but im hoping that it'll be ok this time.
after homecoming i guess im going to tricias. everyone assumed that justin and i were doing something, but we havent talked about it yet. they coulda asked...but w/e its ok atleats im going this year. i didnt go last year and i missed out on all the fun.
the thing thats different this time about me and justin is that i know now that i dont need him to make me happy. yes, he does make me happy, but that can change. my feelimgs or his could change. and this time i kno that after we break up, i'll live on. everyone breaks up. face it, its high school relationships...most of them fail. not all of them, but alot do. and if u can end it well, and still be friends, that'd be great. but breaking up doesnt mean u just fall over and cry about it. its hard when u get ur heart broken, but it heals after a while. hearts mend. and i kno now that i DONT need a boyfriend in my life. it's just a plus. all i want to do is have fun. and having a boyfriend is just a plus. and its hard to pass up this opportunity with justin, just becuz we have history and it was good when we were together b4, so i think it will be agian. just this time, i wont take no shit. and im making him wait. is he like sme enuff, he'll wait for me to be ready to go back out. i love that kid, and i think i alway swil. he was my 1st love, and u always hold a special place for ur first love.
but all i kno is that i love my life and my family and friends. i have it really good, and im done worring about teeny things.
RAWR!!!!
im going to yoga wit my mommy tonight. :-D
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| im not dead, i swear. |
[13 Oct 2004|11:25am] |
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where the blacktop ends. |
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hi im back. ya i kno, its been a while. sheesh, you know ur busy when ur barley online and have no time to update. well, heres the update.
i am going to homecoming with justin.
for now.
i got a new cell phone.
same number.
my mom wants to pull me out of newman.
i cried.
report cards come this weekend.
i need a tan.
my hair needs a good washing.
i was at a party last night.
with shae.
and trina.
together.
i was still dizzy this morning.
mr williams is a stalker.
for 3 days in a row, every A period, i will randomly look up to the window, and hes there.
and he makes a face at me and laughs.
lord, what a silly man.
this friday i am going to the beach with tricia and trina and whoever else.
then that night is patricks big b-day dinner.
yummmm.
basketball is starting.
he wants to practice every saturday.
ya, my dad will be happy with that.
i want to go to the brooks and dunn concert.
i saw robert yesterday. ♥
i saw chad yesterday. ♥
my bestest guy friends.
i have chads hat.
almost got roberts.
i saw a girl i didnt like today, after school.
i wanted to throw a big rock at her.
but i didnt judge her.
just wanted a rock.
blah......
hah, my dog just fell off the bed.
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| dont lick the bottom of your shoe |
[04 Oct 2004|04:30pm] |
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bowling for soup |
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mr scott is an evil little effing man. i got a 41% on his damn harfd as shit test. and now hes going to make them 50% of our garde. HE IS SEXUALLY FRUSTERATED I BET AND WANTS TO SCREW A MAN IN THE ASS, THATS WHY HE'S SO ANAL. dickhead.
my day was good up until him.
damn elf.
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| grab the one you care about and run in the rain |
[03 Oct 2004|12:05pm] |
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last night we went to city place and had dinner...trina, me, mike and nick. mike was acually HIMSELF, which ment no speaking of drinking, or trying to impress me. and while we were walking around, he admitted to me that he liked me, but that i was sorta with justin. i told him i totally give him credit for telling me he liked me, and told him that i didnt know the situation with justin and i, only that he was basically my "first love". maybe it wasent love, but it was strong. he told me that he felt sorry for me. he pity's me. i HATE pity. i asked him why, and he told me b/c of justin, and how my feelings for him will never completely go away. i just stood there. i didnt know what to say. i still dont. all i kno about my situation is that i cant think about it. i just have to let things fall in place. and if justin wants to try out relationship again, he can make some effort. he can call me, invite me out....we'll see. i have no high hopes. i think i would like to try it again. but theres a part of me that is not sure. but then again, when im with him, everything feels normal. i miss the relationship...and in his arms i feel GOOD. but i cant let myself think that hes the only one that'll make me feel like that. im the one who called him last weekend and told him i still cared for him. i think the thing that made me do it was partly because trina had some one, and it was nice hanging out with them, but it made me sad to see them all lovey dovey. i missed it and i wanted that again. and i cant lie, i still cared for justin. that just gave me the little push i needed to tell him. and now i dont kno the situation...(sheesh how many times have i said that?) and im not going to ask. we'll see what happens. well, last night trina and i saw jeff g, drew, mike g (oh how hott are those 3 guys???? MIGHTY FINE) justin b, mike and bobby. and we also saw andrew hammer. i yelled to him "theres andrew hammer, the hottest guy in the freshman class!!".
we drove by the beach after dinner, and nick sat in the front and trina and i in the back, while mike drove. nick and trina and smitten. i have never seen her like this with a guy....its a nice breath of fresh air. so far, theres nothing about nick that completely annoys her to forget about him. they stare into eachothers eyes, he kisses her hand and forehead, they cuddle, they hug. they call eachother "baby" and "hunny". he's romantic, and he'd do anything for her. im so happy for her that she found him. ALL BECAUSE OF ME. im not trying to sound like "oh im awesome" but it was all becuz of me. if i didnt have her come to spanky's with me she would of never of met nick. maybe now she's learned that i am her master, and she should listen to me forever. muahaha. the thing about these relationships is that they end. they might not, but most of them do. you can only hope that they will end well, and maybe stay freinds. and sometimes you'll always love that person. but you cant be bitter. theres no time for that. always keep your head high and smile, thru the worst of times. thats all you can do. its the experience that counts. nothing is a waste of time.
today i have church. my faith isnt strong anymore. i wish it were, but for some reason its not. and i dont know why. maybe its my dad. he's at the lowest point in his life right now. he's was at a better point even when he had cancer. but he's so low, and i wish i could help, but i cant. and i pray for him, but it hasent done much, because my faith is fading. and I DONT KNOW WHY. im thankful for my life. i have it good. i wish i could gte my faith to be stronger. i envy joelle. she's so strong in her faith..and danny. him too. its hard for me, but it seems easy for them. i dont know, i just envy them. <3 God works in starnge ways.. a favor...can u guys pray for my dad please?? thx...
enuff of that.
my cousin from colomibia, pablo, is comming down in november to live with us for 3 months. he has it hard, and wants to come stay, and we cant say no. i love him. sorry ladies, hes only 13...or 14? but it should be interesting. he'll go to wellington for 3 months. my mom is the closest thing he has to a mom...his died like 10 years ago, and his dad is in jail till pablo is like 25. so, this will be like he'll be apart of a real family, with a mom, brother and sister. instead of his dpressed older brother, whos 15, and has anger problems, and his grandma. it'll be a nice change for him.
i love my life. it can be shitty, but oh, i LOVE it.
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[02 Oct 2004|06:15pm] |
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over and over - nelly & tim mcgraw |
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hey guys. i kno its been a while. sorry. ive been really busy. school, hurricanes, um....trinas new boyfriend. his nam eis nick, and we've spent alot of time at his house. because his house is fun, most of the time. his dad is crazy, like a 18 year old kid. he's funny as hell. and his brother is hott, but im over it. b4 i was like "WOW", but now im like, oh....nice. he has a girlfriend, and i dont know her, so im not going to judge her. she seems nice.....anywho0o0o0o lets see whats new.
um, last night was a football game at newman. i went with heather and monica. it was alright....britt was there, jeff, johnathan, patrick, tricia and suzette cheering tehir butts off. (i'm so trying out to be a cheerleader next year. thats right, i am. phhhsh, ya) the ride home was the best part. i was dancing like a fool...and we were taking pictures. i was busting out my super secret dance moves. its cuz i rock...muahah. it was a dangerous thing tho, b/c heather and monica were in such a trance watching me bust out my ultra-cool dances moves, that we were swirving. i felt bad for heather, that she had to drive and couldnt watch my coolness. anyways, we'd stop at red lighs and take pictures...and there was this man that looked like mr williams on a motercycle. we were driving right by him, and i took a picture of him. he got startled and started swirving. i didnt kno i scared him, and i thought he was doing a trick for us, like "hey those girls are sexy sexy girls...let me show off." well, thank gawd he didnt fall, and he did a wheeley to show us what a macho man he was...at a stop light i yelled sorry to him. he waved, and that was that.
monica and i decided that we want to be on the homecomming court....so vote for me and monica! we dont want the same girls to be voted over and over again. u newmaners know who we're talking about...cha?
today i played soccer with chaddrick and his amigos....and on the way home we were in 2 cars throwing pennys and crap at eachother...and this scottish kid gordon threw a gallon of water at our car...and it hit us rigth in the windsheld and stayed on it for like 10 seconds. he wasent on my team, but that was one sweet ass throw. scottish people might not have cows there, but damn they have good arms to throw gallons of water at cars moving at the speeds of 45 mph!!! i hurt my big toe playing soccer. CHAD KICKED IT....ironic that my old password was "bigtoe".
well i must go out to dinner with trina and nick and mike. mike....ya i dunno.
by the way, me and justin are "friends" now...dont ask.
michelle, dont yell at me. call trinas cell to talk to me.
<3
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| ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME? |
[24 Sep 2004|01:01am] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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I JUST WROTE THIS LONG ASS ENTRY AND IT DIDNT POST B/C MY DATE WAS WRONG. WHICH MEANS IT GOT DELETED. A PERFECT END TO THE GOD DAMN BAD MOOD IM IN.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
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| I AM BACK IN BLACK....socks |
[22 Sep 2004|08:06pm] |
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excited |
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bowling for soup |
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im EFFING back. oh lord so much has happend. sorry i havent updated.....ive been so fricken busy.....school is stressful enuff that i want to throw rocks at my teachers windows of their cars....
but i dont have time at this moment....b/c my brother is BITCHING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL BITCH and trina is patiently waiting....
i just wanted to let all my live journal buddies that i am not dead...not today anyways.
xox tati
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[13 Sep 2004|03:01am] |
shane never called back. yeaaaah.
but on a bighter side, i made a purse out of koolade juice packs.
JetsF19: where did trina go
Daydreams428: she ran outa the house..yelling curses in chinese...she ended up chasing an old woman down to the park and hit her with a stick. the cops saw her and arrested her and now shes in jail getting gang banged...she now has a tattoo that says her bitches name...which is "delores"
Daydreams428: on her vagina
today was long.
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livin_4_wishin's journal
